Cinemania

By Adam Lippe

cinemaniaCinemania is the most depressing movie. It is nearly impossible to get through for anyone who enjoys film. 77 minutes of supposed “film buffs” who go to every screening they can in New York City. 6 or 7 theatrical screenings a day. But they have nothing to say about the film, nor do they seem to enjoy it. They are simply catalogs of trivia and meaningless information. There’s a guy who simply memorizes running times, brings a stopwatch, calls in to the theaters to make corrections. They have a compulsive need to go, I guess, but they admit that they don’t go to discuss the films, that when they talk to other film buffs, they get together to discuss scheduling and theaters.

These type of people give nerds a bad name. One guy doesn’t eat vegetables or bran, because he knows he’ll have to spend some time in the bathroom the next day. He deliberately constipates himself. However, Cinemania takes no stance. The movie is shallow, the people depressing. It pretends to be comically poking at them, but they are miserable to look at and it doesn’t delve into anything but the minimal surface, no insight at all. It doesn’t even bother with a stance. You can mock them and it gives you material to do that with. But it’s like they were avoiding digging on purpose or they shot the movie and didn’t have the balls and tried to make it as banal as possible. A random quote that sums up the entire movie in a nutshell:

“Nowhere in the movie do we see them loving the films they see, or even enjoying them.”

There’s a strange betrayal by the people who made the movie as well. The subjects all talk about how their nightmares are on video and their dreams on film… Cinemania is shot on video. And it looks terrible.

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It’s not a secret that the goal of reputable porn filmmakers has been to make a movie that is both erotic and dramatically riveting. Since the early 70s, the heyday of well made pornography (which includes such titles as The Opening of Misty Beethoven and The Devil in Miss Jones), there have been a few ambitious attempts* to make such a film. Tinto Brass’ Caligula, which is on the big budget end, is a nauseating, unsexy mess, a choppy and badly edited jumble that just happens to star Malcolm McDowell, Helen Mirren, Peter O'Toole, and John Gielgud. That producer and Penthouse creator Bob Guccione chose to cut extraneous hardcore footage into the film didn’t help Caligula, which as a movie might have played better as softcore. The very nature of hardcore pornography, where sex scenes aren’t just graphic, but lengthy and “real,” eliminates the possibility of legitimate dramatic interest, since the movie has to literally stop to provide us with[...]

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Featured Quote (written by me)

On Watchmen:

At the funeral of the conflicted, narcissistic, and mean-spirited superhero The Comedian, each of what appears to be ten different people get their own extremely detailed flashback to their interactions with their fallen friend. As the camera slowly moves past each character that had their screen time, eventually stopping at whom I thought was the priest, who then gets five minutes to look to his past, I kept waiting for the dirt and the coffin to get their fill in too.

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