Cinemania

By Adam Lippe

cinemaniaCinemania is the most depressing movie. It is nearly impossible to get through for anyone who enjoys film. 77 minutes of supposed “film buffs” who go to every screening they can in New York City. 6 or 7 theatrical screenings a day. But they have nothing to say about the film, nor do they seem to enjoy it. They are simply catalogs of trivia and meaningless information. There’s a guy who simply memorizes running times, brings a stopwatch, calls in to the theaters to make corrections. They have a compulsive need to go, I guess, but they admit that they don’t go to discuss the films, that when they talk to other film buffs, they get together to discuss scheduling and theaters.

These type of people give nerds a bad name. One guy doesn’t eat vegetables or bran, because he knows he’ll have to spend some time in the bathroom the next day. He deliberately constipates himself. However, Cinemania takes no stance. The movie is shallow, the people depressing. It pretends to be comically poking at them, but they are miserable to look at and it doesn’t delve into anything but the minimal surface, no insight at all. It doesn’t even bother with a stance. You can mock them and it gives you material to do that with. But it’s like they were avoiding digging on purpose or they shot the movie and didn’t have the balls and tried to make it as banal as possible. A random quote that sums up the entire movie in a nutshell:

“Nowhere in the movie do we see them loving the films they see, or even enjoying them.”

There’s a strange betrayal by the people who made the movie as well. The subjects all talk about how their nightmares are on video and their dreams on film… Cinemania is shot on video. And it looks terrible.

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Zombieland

By Adam Lippe

It’s been said that Russ Meyer primarily made silly exploitation movies filled with huge breasts, wild editing styles, and jokey narration because when he tried to make a real movie, such as The Seven Minutes, it would either be dull or devolve into camp, like his most famous films, Beyond the Valley of the Dolls, Cherry, Harry, and Raquel, and Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! The suggestion was that he wasn’t a talented enough director to have a movie be taken seriously, so he had no other choice but to mock. The thing is, you can get away with a lot in a genre parody. If you’re mocking an action-comedy, as long as your movie is funny it becomes irrelevant if you can’t afford explosions or can’t direct car chases. Problems occur [...]

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Featured Quote (written by me)

There’s a famous poem by Robert Frost that says, and I paraphrase, “two roads diverged, both selling out in their own way, one to Hollywood, and one to direct-to-video erotic thrillers.” Frost wrote this poem after watching Open House, a low-budget slasher movie taking place amongst real estate agents, written by David Mickey Evans, who followed up this script with the fantasy/child abuse uplifting drama, Radio Flyer and the nostalgia for racial mixing amongst young baseball players with The Sandlot, while director Jag Mundhra followed Open House with titles like Sexual Malice, Tropical Heat, and most recently, Kama Sutra 3.

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